I am my own worst enemy. I’m a child of an obsessive-compulsive mother, and a just plain obsessive father. My daughter used to tell people that I alphabetized the goods in our pantry. She was wrong. Things were organized according to function first, then by date (purchase or expiration), then by size. Organizing things not only gives me a feeling of accomplishment, it soothes my inner turmoil.
One way this behavior manifests is that I’m always looking for ways to get shit done more effectively. When it comes to my computers, I’m a software junkie. It’s not about the accumulation—it’s about always looking for a better tool.
This website is powered by WordPress, which is a really great and extensible paltform for building a website. Unfortunately, one area where WordPress has always been inefficient is in managing an email newsletter. The functionality isn’t built-in, and I’ve always found the newsletter plug-ins that were available to be expensive and complicated.
When EO began, I used the Substack platform for news announcements. It’s a nice platform with many features and conveniences. It didn’t integrate with WordPress, but it met my needs. Until I heard their CEO defending the company for, not just allowing, but for actually inviting racists, homophobes, and transphobes to use their platform. So I looked for something better, and by better, I mean less evil.
Ghost was (is) better. Feature-wise it surpasses Substack, and it also appears to be run by decent people. Substack is free. Ghost is not. It’s expensive (for my budget), but my values are important, so I made the switch. You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?. That’s right. I’m switching again. I am my own worst enemy.
Dear Ghost, It’s not you, it’s me. You’re still great. But I’m married to WordPress, and I have come to realize that it’s beyond my capacity to manage two such major relationships and commitments. I’m tired of going back and forth between two platforms. Frankly, it’s simply too much effort to keep compartmentalizing. Besides that, WordPress has been growing, becoming more mature, more versatile, more equipped to meeting my needs.
Dear WordPress, I’m back. Thanks for waiting for me to come to my senses. I’m sorry if my behavior has been inconsistent or wishy washy. I know we’re going to need some time to readjust. I know I have more work to do. I hope you’ll be patient with me as I get aquainted with your new features. I won’t leave again. I promise.
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My name is Eric Jennings (he/him) – I am a writer and visual artist with a background in theatre and performance. My experiences as a survivor of childhood sexual victimization inform my work.